Welcome to the first poem chosen for March by our guest editor, Jessie Joe Jacobs, who is part of the We Are Our Media collective working to bring ‘alternative tabloids’ to the people of the north east, written by the people of the north east!
No News is Good News
You might be under the impression we live in a democracy
And not some kind of baron mediaocracy
With all the papers spinning news and the stories that they choose
They want you to focus on mediocrity
The Daily Hate Mail claims to represent
The ordinary people who say they resent
State interference on their own two cents
And demand the return of good old common sense
Despite the fact the paper’s position
Is one of right wing absolutism
And regular inclusion of lies of omission
That happen to align with Paul Dacre’s vision
Of a Britain of old with politics on the right
And Enoch Powell saying “Keep Britain White”
And it’s a business’s choice, no in fact it’s right
To pay workers little and not let them unite
They don’t see the irony of publishing stories
Of high profile sex offenders (as long as they’re not tories)
Alongside photos of teenage girls in bikinis
(Taken without consent) in all of their glories
They want to return to the days of the Empire
Refusing to see that they’re lining the pyre
For a squalid little island consigned to the fire
Of history, willingly led there by liars
No news is good news –
They’ve all got a fucking agenda
Whether right wing views
Or neo-liberal values
They all find a way to offend yer
All the obnoxious pricks under the Sun
Take the same message and make it into one
Of hate and distrust next to “Page 3 fun”
Hidden in plain sight in a headline pun
Right wing writers and gutter journalists
Hack into dead girls’ phones for a list
Of exclusives and prevent the raising of fists
And are punished with nothing but a slap on the wrist
Rupert Murdoch is the closest living man
To a bond villain intent on ruling the land
Or the world, he prefers, telling people to stand
Against immigrants and labour and socialist plans
And there’s this pretense of being for the working class
When the writers and editors who contribute to this farce
Are from Eton and they happen to know each other from class
They distract their readership with sport, tits and cars
Even the government relies on this excuse for news
To spin scandals and stories in a way that they choose
Since the days of Campbell, and all those whose
Objections to war are mocked for the views
By the same fucking paper, who after Chilcot came out
Decided the war in Iraq was wrong with no doubt
When in 2003 they were leading the shout
For invasion and WMDs, you can “read all about”
No news is good news –
They’ve all got a fucking position
On a woman’s right to choose
Or “Labour’s Election Blues”
They’re all against real opposition
The BBC is no better with all the top jobs
Being taken by the ex-tory minister mobs
Who unironically use the word “yobs”
When talking about those whose money they rob
As regular people are “clearly unable
To make the right choice to keep the establishment stable”
And don’t even get me started on Sky
Like Fox News UK, they can’t help but lie
Just making up bullshit and letting it fly
To control the media narrative we buy
They brand me submersive for the way I react
And they call us sore losers for believing in facts
And ignore the mandates for centrist attacks
So at least Whitehall remains still intact
But what it really suggests is a panicked elite
Reeling on the ropes and sensing defeat
As they seem to be struggling with the usual technique
Of planting stories in papers and setting lies on repeat
And it’s dark times ahead like the last days of Rome
As those who hate the poor still cling to the throne
While thousands are dead and that’s just the ones who are known
From war, from famine, and from cuts to those left to struggle alone
But maybe (just maybe) traditional media is on the way out
And something different is providing the clout
Like Twitter and other online sources about
The real news by real people and real words that they tout
So the Sun sets and the Express runs late
The Star burns out and The Times misses the date
The Guardian protects no-one and gets no rebate
The Telegraph’s obsolete like it’s technological namesake
The Independent and “i” get ignored and spurned
The Mirror shows no reflection when turned
And the worst one of all gets what it’s earned
As the Mail and it’s writers go to hell and get burned
They have no journalistic integrity
They set whatever they choose
For their mates in the city
And it’s more the pity
That no news is ever good news
